I want that.

Well I'm on an emotional tangent after watching the season finale of Gene Simmons' Family Jewels, and I'm bored of my usual hobby of looking up cool concert pictures to collect and display on my desktop (I'm sure there's something more creative to do with them, I just haven't thought of it yet.) Today was uneventful at best, but I did "apply" the band to play at the Sugar Hill Fall Festival in October, so I can at least feel that I did something proactive.

Today in the mail my mom got a coupon for a sale on 500 business cards, so she suggested that I make ones for the band to hand out at our upcoming gig at the Homeowner's Meeting (if that's not rock n roll, I don't know what is) to maybe get some more promotion. I made a pretty cool little design, but as soon as I was done, that feeling hit me again. This is what I want to do with my life.

Now there are many people who say "YEAH MAN I WANNA BE A ROCKSTAR" and think about the fame and fortune, all of pay and none of the price. Well, for someone who is such an avid fan of someone who pretty much abhors being famous, you are safe in assuming that I have had second thoughts about my hopeful profession. I've read stories about stalkers, illness, relationships and all of the things that are hidden by the money and "greatness" of fame, and it can be scary. When you stand back it makes you wonder why anyone would want to do this outside of monetary reasons. But to quote Neil "I don't want to be famous, I want to be good." That is how I feel. I want to be the best at what I do, and if fame comes with that then I will accept it. If people like me enough that they want to see me do what I love on a stage every night for months, then I will do it. I will go up there when I'm sick and exhausted and keep going because I want that. I want to be the person that people respect as a drummer. They don't have to idolize me or want to be me, I just want to be acknowledged as "those years of practice paid off".

And of course as I read this over I realize how incredibly pretentious it sounds, but as anyone who knows me will agree that that is not how I intend it at all. I'm just saying that I want to be good. If I get good enough that people will pay to come see me, then I will deal with the ups and downs of fame. Respect > Fame.

Love your pretentious sounding drummer friend,
~S